“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.” - Anonymous

We’ve mainly been focusing on how amputees handle life after the loss of a limb. But what about our family and our friends? How do they cope with our loss, rehabilitation and getting on with life?

My mom wrote the following:

When I received the news of Hendrik and Rene’s accident on Saturday morning 28 October 2006, it was every mother’s worst nightmare came true.  I was so thankful that they were both alive, not expecting what I would find when I arrived at the hospital.  It was the beginning of an emotional roller coaster, between hope and despair. None of us expected the dragged out sequence of events that followed.

Totally unexpected was all the support from friends and family that we all received during this period.  As a mother, your child’s pain is your pain – all I wanted to do was to make it better, but I was so helpless.  It was tough not to be over-protective and not to show too much emotion.  I was often concerned if the daily visits were to tiring for him.  It was hard to find a balance.

Hendrik’s recovery after the amputation was rapid.  Hendrik is such an inspiration to me when I see how he copes and makes the best of every situation.  Hendrik has always been a fighter.  The one thing that became clear to me during this trying period was that you have to allow yourself to grieve.  Even though it was not my limb that was amputated, I went through a grieving period.

A year after the accident, our family spent a few days holidaying together at the coast.  To see how Hendrik was coping with his prosthesis and also to realize that he is still the same person was a liberating experience. He still plays pranks on us like before, and given half a chance will playfully ruff us around just like before.  I came to realize that I don’t have to feel sorry for him. He is coping and living life to the full.  

Also see ‘Living with an amputee‘ for another take from someone living with an amputee.